I am half-Chinese, but I grew up in a home that didn’t place much focus on ethnic background. My father never spoke Chinese to me or told me about growing up as a second-generation immigrant. Racism wasn’t discussed as something that I could be a victim of, so I never acknowledged the micro-aggressions and comments aimed at me. And I don’t look Asian. So for most of my life, I considered myself to be white.

Only in the past few years have I come to recognise and appreciate the other half of my identity. I asked my grandmother to tell me her immigration story. I asked my father to teach me how to cook the meals he grew up eating. I pulled my grandfather’s mahjong set out of the attic and learned how to play. But because of how I look and how little I still know about Chinese culture, I’m left at a crossroads of identity. I am both and neither.

Where do I fit in society’s circles? What do I tell people when they ask me what I am, who I am? I cannot be defined by a single word or a single image. I don’t even know who I am to myself, so how can I express who I am to others?